What Are Our Sexual Fears?


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Richelle is one of my dearest friends. We have a very intimate relationship -- we know each other well including each others' fears. As someone who has been a sex educator and is sex positive, Richelle is someone I've wanted to include in Sexplanations videos for a long time. She could address just about every topic. When I thought about the dream episode with her though it was the two of us talking about our vulnerabilities -- where we get scared of ourselves, others, and those connections, sexually.



This episode is a pretty raw back and forth of my fears and Richelle's fears -- our false evidence appearing real. Some of what we say isn't articulate or perfectly sex positive. Instead of being afraid that you're going to judge us harshly for this, I'm going to trust that you know we're doing the best we can and as human beings we make mistakes. We're trying to love ourselves and that is a learning process.



Thank you for being supportive of this channel and sex education at large. One of my greatest sexual fears is that people aren't receiving the knowledge and care they need to make healthy decisions. I'm so proud of the Sexplanations' audience for your part in increases access to sexual health information for others and for investing in yourselves. Stay curious.



Here's a detailed list of the fears we brought up:

Fears about me

Fears about others

Fears about relationship

Fear I’m not good enough

sexually

Fear of my performance

Fear others won’t perform well

Fear others aren’t good enough

Fear others won’t hear me

understand me

Fear others don’t know their own needs

Fear others can’t communicate their needs

Fear of what other people think about my body

Fear of being being abnormal

Fear of being wrong

Fear of gravity

Age

Squishing

Smashing

Birth control harming partners

Fear of being slow to figure out my identity

Fear of not knowing body

Fear of not knowing how to communicate

Fear of no getting my needs met

Fear of not having courage

Fear of doing something a new partner doesn’t like

Fear of not being able to impress someone

sexually

Fear sexualities don’t match up like I expect

Fear of disappointment from unmet expectations

Fear of others’ disappointment in me

Fear of saying something someone doesn’t like

Fear that what I thought works, doesn’t always

Fear of stronger emotions than others

Fear of imbalance

Fear of an unequal power balance

Fear of being too connected

Fear of not being connected enough

Fear of enjoying sex more than others

Fear of not enjoying sex as much as others

Fear of abandonment

Fear of not being enough

Fear of dissatisfaction

Fear of being talked about

Fear sex with Dr. Doe isn’t good

Fear of brand damage

Fear of dishonesty

Fear of sexually transmitted infections

Fear of being manipulated

Fear of addiction or habituation

Fear of clit lock

Fear of limiting myself

Fear of not being okay without...

Fear of accepting bad things for good sex

Fear of accepting bad sex for good things



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