Etsy, the home of unique artisan crafts and other handmade wares, now offers you the bondage stock of your dreams.

No one doubts that Etsy sells some shit. Keyword shit. Does the world really need more eco-friendly bird feeders or shabby-vintage handmade nose rings? The answer is no. However, the world DOES need more handmade bondage gear and Etsy is my new "go to" one-stop shop. 

My torso went numb when I saw this handmade bondage stock listing. This bad boy is advertised as a "Dungeon Quality" bondage stock. Not some weak ass, Fisher Price bullshit that you'd  be embarrassed to roll out at your next neighborhood barbecue and flogging session. It's made in America, so you know it's quality you can trust.

You can choose from 4 different colors - basic black to hemorrhage purple. 

It includes a detachable ankle stock that also rotates so it can be used in spurpleding, or kneeling positions. Because everyone hates to have waste value time messing about with tricky ankle stocks.

Can double as an attractive mountain bike rack.

What are you waiting for a cold Jolly Rancher Zima?  Stop fucking around,  get your ass back on the rack and tell the world you're a real ass-whipping dungeon master by adding this hardware to your arsenal!

It's a steal at $749 (girl not included - thank God!).

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